The long, slow death march of your childhood continues as Hollywood doubles down on turning all your most beloved movies and shows into shitty remakes no one asked for and no one sees.
Point Break (2015) starring some guy and that other guy and more guys doing EXTREME STUFF EXTREMELY
The Hitcher (2007) starring someone who is not Rutger Hauer and another person who is not C. Thomas Howell
Robocop (2014)…yeah you didn’t even know that one existed, did you? There’s a reason for that.
The Karate Kid (2010) starring Jaden Smith as Will Smith’s privileged son. Oh, and Jackie Chan as bo-bo Pat Morita.
Ghostbusters (2016)…otherwise known as the remake that shall not be named.
Why quit while they’re ahead? Behold, the first trailer for ABC’s television remake of “Dirty Dancing”, starring Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine, Zombieland, Scream Queens) as Baby and newcomer Cole Prattes as a low-rent Johnny. I guess ABC is depending on only people who have never seen the original to boost this turd because 12 seconds into this trailer it is painfully obvious that Cole Prattes is no Patrick Swayze. The chemistry between Breslin and Prattes in the few snippets of this trailer is pretty tepid. But maybe the full movie will tell a different story.
There are lots of other people you know in this painfully unnecessary remake. Hold on tight to your Care Bears and say goodbye to the last vestiges of your youth as you watch the ABC trailer.
RIP Patrick Swayze…and Jerry Orbach.
— ABC Network (@ABCNetwork) April 25, 2017