Phantom Sway

Awesome Movie Reviews by Mavis: Bridget Jones’s Baby*

She’s pushing 50 now and even her own uterus is rolling its eyes at this buffoonery.

Bridget Jones's BabyI’m embarrassed for whoever decided this was a good idea – a new Bridget Jones film twelve years after the last one, starring Colin Firth, Patrick Dempsey, and Renée Zellweger’s new face.

I actually enjoyed the first two Bridget Jones movies. They were cute and romantic, although I’m still waiting for Great Britain to take military action against the U.S. for Zellweger’s lousy accent.

In this new one, Bridget gets knocked up and doesn’t know which of these old geezers is the father. Listen, I’ve got nothing against Zellweger, but she’s pushing 50 now and even her own uterus is rolling its eyes at this buffoonery.

Bridget Jones should be married to Mr. Darcy by now with a bunch of rug rats in a house in the English countryside, not whorin’ it up like a dumbass teenager. Hugh Grant is the best part of this flick – because he was smart enough to stay out of it this time.

This has been another awesome movie review by Mavis.

*Mavis has not actually seen this movie.

 

Mavis Lipschitz-Gutiérrez

Mavis Lipschitz-Gutiérrez is a parking enforcement officer and part-time pet psychic. She enjoys chain-smoking, scrapbooking, and watching horror movies. Mavis lives with her husband Harold and their cat named Connie (named after Mavis's sister, who is a bitch.) Mavis can be followed on Twitter at @MavisReviews.