Phantom Sway

Awesome Movie Reviews by Mavis: The Forest

ProTip: If a frightened Japanese person ever advises you to get out of the haunted murder forest, GET OUT OF THE DAMN HAUNTED MURDER FOREST.

The Forest, or as I would have titled it Hysterical Honkies Doing Idiotic Things, wasn’t the spine-chilling horror flick I had hoped it would be, but it was fun for a couple hours of J-horror jump scares. The film is set in the Japanese forest of Aokigahara, a real place where hundreds of people have gone to off themselves during the past fifty years. An American woman goes into the forest in an attempt to find her lost twin sister. A local horny American dude goes with her. The nice, extremely patient Japanese guide warns them repeatedly to stay on the path, not talk to strangers, and to leave before dark. So naturally, the ridiculously attractive American tourists do the exact opposite of all of those things. Pandemonium ensues. ProTip: If a frightened Japanese person ever advises you to get out of the haunted Murder Forest, GET OUT OF THE DAMN HAUNTED MURDER FOREST. This has been another awesome movie review by Mavis.The Forest, or as I would have titled it Hysterical Honkies Doing Idiotic Things, wasn’t the spine-chilling horror flick I had hoped it would be, but it was fun for a couple hours of J-horror jump scares. The film is set in the Japanese forest of Aokigahara, a real place where hundreds of people have gone to off themselves during the past fifty years. An American woman goes into the forest in an attempt to find her lost twin sister. A local horny American dude goes with her. The nice, extremely patient Japanese guide warns them repeatedly to stay on the path, not talk to strangers, and to leave before dark. So naturally, the ridiculously attractive American tourists do the exact opposite of all of those things. Pandemonium ensues. ProTip: If a frightened Japanese person ever advises you to get out of the haunted murder forest, GET OUT OF THE DAMN HAUNTED MURDER FOREST. This has been another awesome movie review by Mavis.

Mavis Lipschitz-Gutiérrez

Mavis Lipschitz-Gutiérrez is a parking enforcement officer and part-time pet psychic. She enjoys chain-smoking, scrapbooking, and watching horror movies. Mavis lives with her husband Harold and their cat named Connie (named after Mavis's sister, who is a bitch.) Mavis can be followed on Twitter at @MavisReviews.

2 comments

Popular Posts