Since Hollywood’s “new ideas” machine has been broken for about the last decade they’ve been steadily subjecting us to pointless remakes of beloved classics that no one —- LITERALLY NO ONE —- has been asking for. Sometimes they’re good, like the 21 Jump Street reboots with Jonah Hill and
Channum Tating Tating Channel Channing Tatum or the Dark Knight series.
Sometimes they’re Ghostbusters.
The latest not-so-new-idea from our Hollywood overlords comes in the form of a “Baywatch” reboot starring Duane “The Rock” Johnson and Zach Efron and some other hot young girls who have boobs. I wondered if they were going to go in a more serious direction but in the 21 Jump Street tradition it looks like they’ve decided to make the movie a parody of the original hit series starring the Hoff and Pamela Anderson and other bobo Pamela Andersons over the years.
The Rock seems to be parodying himself. He’s gone from hot muscle-head to over-juiced muscle-head. Seriously, his thighs look like they’re about to split at the seam. It’s not sexy.
But that’s okay because Zac Efron is in this and he’s sexy as all hell and I’ve been married for 18 years and damn if those abs don’t call to me in the midday quiet of my quiet, boring suburban, home.
Here’s the trailer. I have no opinion about this movie. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Or not. Listen, Zac Efron has no shirt on in this trailer. That’s all you need to know.