Phantom Sway

The ‘Baywatch’ Trailer is Here and Zac Efron is Shirtless…And That’s All You Need to Know

God bless our pretend lifeguards who put their abs on line every day…for 2 months.

Since Hollywood’s “new ideas” machine has been broken for about the last decade they’ve been steadily subjecting us to pointless remakes of beloved classics that no one —- LITERALLY NO ONE —- has been asking for. Sometimes they’re good, like the 21 Jump Street reboots with Jonah Hill and Channum Tating Tating Channel Channing Tatum or the Dark Knight series.

Sometimes they’re Ghostbusters.

The latest not-so-new-idea from our Hollywood overlords comes in the form of a “Baywatch” reboot starring Duane “The Rock” Johnson and Zach Efron and some other hot young girls who have boobs. I wondered if they were going to go in a more serious direction but in the 21 Jump Street tradition it looks like they’ve decided to make the movie a parody of the original hit series starring the Hoff and Pamela Anderson and other bobo Pamela Andersons over the years.

The Rock seems to be parodying himself. He’s gone from hot muscle-head to over-juiced muscle-head. Seriously, his thighs look like they’re about to split at the seam. It’s not sexy.

But that’s okay because Zac Efron is in this and he’s sexy as all hell and I’ve been married for 18 years and damn if those abs don’t call to me in the midday quiet of my quiet, boring suburban, home.

Here’s the trailer. I have no opinion about this movie. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Or not. Listen, Zac Efron has no shirt on in this trailer. That’s all you need to know.

Kira Allen

When Kira isn’t scaling the peaks of some of the toughest mountains in the world or exploring the Amazon rainforests she spends her time as a foster mom for her local animal shelter. Kira has volunteered for “Doctors without Borders” even though she isn’t even a doctor or a nurse. Her mantra is “More speed, more height, more life…”
Just kidding….Kira is a writer, actor and suburban housewife and mother. Her mantra is “If I can’t do it from the couch, is it really worth it?”

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