Phantom Sway

Exploding Toilets and Post Apocalyptic Pooches

A Baltimore woman is blown off her own toilet while San Diego dogs get up-armored against coyotes.

atigwIn Baltimore, the city violently intrudes upon even the most private moments of your day while in San Diego people go to extreme measures to protect their precious pups from prowling predators. It’s just weird. 

Look out below

Baltimore woman ‘blown off’ her own toilet files lawsuit

In 2014 FOX45 was told the city contracted the company Spinello, to use high-pressure hoses to clean out the sewer line in Wright’s neighborhood.

She says she was sitting on her toilet when it backed up and she was blown off.

This is truly awful.  First she was all…

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When suddenly…

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Understandably she’s suing the shit out of everyone involved.

“We have an estimate of $14,000 just to repair the bathroom,” he says, adding that day wasn’t the first time that waste backed up into Wright’s home.

“It happened also in August 2014. Fortunately she wasn’t sitting there.”

“I would probably seek $250,000 if we go in front of a jury to compensate her properly for the enormous blows to her psyche and physical self.”

“Enormous blows.” Heh.

Anti-Coyote Super Genius

After traumatically losing a beloved pet to a hungry coyote, a San Diego family has invented a system to protect man’s best friend from the wily predators.

San Diego couple invents vest to protect dogs from coyote attacks

It has plastic spikes around the collar, spikes down the length of the torso and long plastic quills shooting up along the center from the neck to the rump.

Mott said it would deter any animal from biting into his dogs.

What it won’t do is keep your dog from looking like a total douchebag. These dogs look like they are outfitted to appear in a sequel to The Road Warrior (or possibly a Devo video). If that’s what it takes to keep them from being Coyote Chow™ though, it may be worth cramping your dog’s style. If you want to make your dog wear yellow and pink kevlar with spikes, you can order the outfit from CoyoteVest.com.

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Why you do dis, hooman?

This all seems like overkill to me. It’s fairly common knowledge that the best way to deter a coyote is to drop an anvil on his head, and if that fails to work, you just push him off an obscenely high cliff.

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All that is assuming the coyote isn’t tripping on magic mushrooms.

Phantom Jim

Jim is a science fiction nerd, writer, blogger, music lover, artist, graphic designer, native of the east coast, and graduate of Virginia Tech.