Phantom Sway

Gwyneth Paltrow Has a $15,000 Dildo For You

And now in “Rich people aren’t like the rest of us news…”

Gwyneth Paltrow may have started Goop as a legitimate curation site for bored rich ladies but we’re starting to think at this point she’s just trolling all of us.

Goop’s “Not-So-Basic Sex Toys” edition came out this week and there were a lot of “reason #423 you’ll never be like Gwyneth” products featured. The most affordable is a light BDSM “starter kit” for about $38. Basically it’s the “50 Shades of Grey” version of BDSM…the movie, not the book.

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There’s a $535 whip (of course) and a nipple clamp necklace (yes, you read that right). For just $395 you can look fashionable while crushing your booby bits!

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None of it compares to the $15,000 gold-plated dildo…

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…because nothing says “I have more money than any human being needs” more than shoving $15,000 up your hoo-ha.

Phantom Sway