Hello, my name is El Chorizo Guapo. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Cower before my mighty knockwurst
Finally there’s a mobile app to satisfy your homoerotic food fetish.
Japanese game company Milkcorp, who you may (not) know from such games as “Sleep In Office” and “My Stupid Son,” has released “Sausage Legend” in which you you do battle using dangly extruded meat products.
The game’s official description:
Sausage chosen one.
Draw your sword!
It’s a fighting game in which you’ll wield a sausage.
With a physics engine, the sausages will react realistically.
Someone went to school to study computer programming and created a physics engine just so you can “realistically” slap virtual sausages. In Japan he’s either a national celebrity or he has brought great shame upon his family. It’s hard to tell over there. They have an ancient tradition of stoic honor but they also have a game show where a dude shoves his naked butt in your face if you answer trivia questions wrong. It’s a pretty mixed bag.
26 world sausages created with a physics engine are available.
Realistic and beautiful 3D graphics!
Wow. This game has more sausage than Seth Rogen’s Twitter feed. Ok, maybe not that much, but 26 is nothing to sneeze at.
I can’t wait to see the matchup between The Ragin’ Cajun Andouille and The Big Kielbasa.
Also, “beautiful” probably isn’t the word I would have chosen to describe the graphics.
2 player game
Obviously. You can’t have a sword fight without at least two sausages. There seems to be a solo option though. I can’t read Japanese but I’m assuming the writing in the GIF below says something about strengthening your wiener by repeatedly banging it against a log. This is good advice in general but oddly enough it’s also the basis for another popular Japanese game show. Probably.
“Sausage Legend” is available for Android and iOS devices.