Phantom Sway

And then it got weird: The Injustice of Varmint Inequality

A possum walked into a public restroom, and then it got weird.

Don't judge me.
Don’t judge me.

Today’s economy is rough on everyone. Some of us can’t find jobs. Some of us can’t afford a place to live. Some of us are possums.

A possum in Australia was forced to swallow his pride and take up residence in a real shit hole…well, adjacent to one anyway.

Apparently his wife left him for a wombat who works in her office. She cleaned him out in the divorce and that’s when he ended up “squeezing the Charmin,” as it were. Then he got evicted and forced to live in public housing. To add insult to injury the slumlords made a big joke of it on Facebook.

That is not a proud possum. His shame is exceeded only by the trauma of constant visits by Aussies who ate one too many meat pies at the family picnic.  That possum has seen some…things.

And you just know his mother is is always calling him in the middle of the football match to throw his failure back in his face. “Why can’t you be more like that badger fella in England? You know, the archaeologist.”

Three humans who didn't discover a bronze age burial site near Stonehenge.
Several humans who didn’t discover a bronze age burial site near Stonehenge.

Badger Badger Badger

Yes, in England, badgers are making archaeological discoveries, much to the delight of people who have spent years studying and painstakingly conducting research.

Bronze Age burial near Stonehenge discovered by badger

A Bronze Age cremation burial has been discovered near Stonehenge after being accidentally dug up by a badger.

Objects found in a burial mound at Netheravon, Wiltshire, include a bronze saw, an archer’s wrist guard, a copper chisel and cremated human remains.

Experts believe the burial may have been that of an archer or a person who made archery equipment. 

The artefacts date back to 2,200-2,000BC, senior archaeologist Richard Osgood, of the MOD, said.

Note the media’s blatant anti-badger bias. Give credit where credit is due. That badger was almost certainly digging on purpose. This Osgood character will probably get interviewed in National Geographic while the badger will be lucky not to get culled.

 

Phantom Jim

Jim is a science fiction nerd, writer, blogger, jazz lover, artist, graphic designer, native of the east coast, and graduate of Virginia Tech.

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