In Malibu, California someone placed a Craigslist ad claiming that he is “an engineer who built an [artificial intelligence] with a vagina.” And then it got weird.
My Daughter the Sex Bot
In the ad the engineer states that he can’t use the sex bot himself because he’s like “its dad.” Naturally it would be creepy for this guy to engage in relations with his electronic offspring. So instead, he posted an ad on Craigslist looking for strangers who will boink his daughter-bot while he watches, because that’s not creepy at all.
Speaking of creepy, how about San Francisco?
The city by the bay has been losing the war on public defecation and urination for years now. There is even an interactive map online tallying up the poo sightings. The picture it paints is nothing short of horrifying. When you’re in a major U.S. city you shouldn’t have to walk as if you’re touring a Wisconsin dairy farm.
If you are going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
…oh, and get vaccinated for cholera while you’re at it.
To combat public urination, the city has used fines and hydrophobic paint which causes urine to bounce back on the urinator. The idea is that it’s better to have urine soaked people wandering the city than to have a wet spot on a building. The latest action is the installation of open-air urinals. This is a great cultural leap forward because it’s something they already have in Europe, like soccer riots or France.
I know urinals. I have used urinals. This thing is not a urinal. It’s a patio with a floor drain, and it’s no solution to San Francisco’s problem for several reasons.
- That map we talked about earlier is soon going to have a giant poo emoji centered on this exact location.
- It will become a dump site (no pun intended…well ok maybe a little intended) for used motor oil, antifreeze, blood, or any other hazardous materials the disposal of which costs money.
- That white privacy screen was destroyed and/or stolen by vandals within minutes of this photo being taken.
And just so it doesn’t look like I’m piling on California, let’s move on to Mississippi.
Voir Dire Me
In Pascagoula, Mississippi someone made a serious error when sending out summons for jury duty.
Multiple news outlets report that at least 350 jury summons with the incorrect phone number were sent out in Jackson County to potential jurors.
Circuit Clerk Randy Carney says people started calling the circuit clerk’s office Monday morning to report the problem. Others stopped by in person to address the issue.
The best part about this story is that the clerk’s name is actually “Randy.”