Phantom Sway

Naked courtship rituals of Pennsylvania and live action cartoons

Naked man charged for seeking ‘courtship’ with neighbor

Pennsylvania man is trying to make it competitive with Florida man, which means it’s gonna get weird. And then it got weird

Froggy went a courtin’

It is really hard to understand all of these arcane Pennsylvania Dutch marital customs.

“So, Patrick, you seeing anyone?

“Well, I’m kinda sweet on that lady in 4-B.”

“You should ask her to dinner or coffee or something then…”

“Nah, I’ve got a better idea.”

Naked man charged for seeking ‘courtship’ with neighbor

When the 30-year-old female victim answered her door in Woodward Township at about 12:30 p.m., she found a nude Patrick R. Marsh, 59, standing there with his genitals in his hands, according to police. 

Marsh went to the woman’s door in the East Park Drive Apartments complex “in an attempt to obtain courtship,” the Pennsylvania State Police said.

His neighbor found the gesture offensive, and Marsh found himself charged with indecent exposure. 

What a prude.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the commonwealth, others were also making wise life choices. Lynly Broge (53) from Butler County already had five DUIs on her record before she downed eight beers (plus some muscle relaxers) before crashing her Chrysler Sebring into a beer distributorship.

It’s like a live action cartoon. Speaking of…

Needs more Hypnotoad

I’m a fan of Futurama. It was a great show and I get why people really get into it. It is eminently re-watchable.

This, however, looks like garbage. is more forgiving than I.

This Live-Action ‘Futurama’ Is Too Accurate To Not Be Weird

On one hand, Fan-o-rama is brilliantly accurate. It doesn’t have that shoddy, fan-made feel at all. The costumes for Leela, Zoidberg and Bender are spot-on. On the other hand, despite how accurate the costumes are, they feel uncomfortably weird. It’s not the fault of the creator’s by any means, but translating a big-breasted cyclops and anthropomorphic lobster into a real, living, breathing thing — well, we’re just not sure how that wouldn’t feel weird. Even Professor Farnsworth, who comes across as a regular-looking old man in the cartoon, is the stuff nightmares are made of in the trailer. We’re guessing Matt Groening never pictured his cartoon like this.

I’m guessing Matt Groening is calling his lawyer. If not, he should be. As cosplayers, the makers of Fan-o-rama get high marks but their attempt at recreating Futurama is about as successful as that of a mediocre high school garage band’s attempt at recreating Led Zeppelin IV.

What made Futurama great was the writing, the cast, the animation, and everything else that is not part of this abomination.


James Lanka

Science fiction nerd, writer, blogger, music lover, artist, native of the east coast.

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Harriet Tubman is one of America’s most beloved historical figures but has sadly been largely relegated to just a few facts during Black History Month. This incredible ex-slave, spy, cook, nurse, public speaker and rescuer deserves a story worthy of her stature.

“Minty” – tentatively titled after Tubman’s nickname – is a “reimagining” of Harriet Tubman as an action hero. It is a period piece with a modern flare.