Phantom Sway

Today in “Rich White Girls Have Too Much Time and Money” News…

Gwyneth Paltrow is not like you, peasant. And she never will be.


Rich white people do strange things – climb mountains, solo trek to the north pole, fly experimental airplanes. It’s like they have so much money that all of the things we basic bitches do for excitement – like going to Six Flags or the aquarium – seem boring, low-rent and normal.

Real life, living, breathing, rich white person Gwyneth Paltrow started an entire website devoted to reminding the rest of us that we are and always will be more basic than the tank top table at Old Navy….

Vagina steams, $4700 solid gold juicers, LEMONGRASS CHICKEN BANH MI SALAD, BITCHES!

Now Gwyneth has graced us with yet another “rich, white people have too much time and money on their hands” thing – bee sting treatments. You read that right. In an interview with the New York Times Ms.GOOP says she uses an ancient therapy that uses bee stings to get rid of whatever it is you hate about your skinny, gluten-free, pasty, thigh-gapped body.

[quote]”I’ve been stung by bees. It’s a thousands of years old treatment called apitherapy. People use it to get rid of inflammation and scarring. It’s actually pretty incredible if you research it. But, man, it’s painful.”[/quote]

It’s probably not surprising to know modern science does not recognize this as an effective medical treatment (and neither does spellcheck, so it must be bunk) but people have been doing it for thousands of years anyway.

You may also be interested to read Paltrow’s moral dilemma regarding fragrances in the same interview.

Vag steams, bee stings, roasted Kabocha…the annual GOOP generic winter celebration party must be a real blast!

Phantom Sway

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Harriet Tubman is one of America’s most beloved historical figures but has sadly been largely relegated to just a few facts during Black History Month. This incredible ex-slave, spy, cook, nurse, public speaker and rescuer deserves a story worthy of her stature.

“Minty” – tentatively titled after Tubman’s nickname – is a “reimagining” of Harriet Tubman as an action hero. It is a period piece with a modern flare.